you have to forgive me, you have to forgive me, you have to forgive me

Brian Lobel


New York-born, now London-based, Brian Lobel creates work about human bodies and the ways they are watched, policed, prodded and loved by others. Blending provocative humour with insightful reflection, his work has been shown internationally in a range of contexts from medical schools to galleries, cabarets to museums, market places to forests. Brian is a Senior Lecturer in Theatre at the University of Chichester and a Core Artist with Forest Fringe, he also currently serves as a Public Engagement Fellow for the Wellcome Trust.

you have to forgive me, you have to forgive me, you have to forgive me is a durational, one-to-one watching of Sex & The City, exploring intimacy, isolation and the pervasive legacy of Carrie Bradshaw ten years after the series finished. Having completed a 92-question survey (adapted from each question asked on S&TC), audience members get into bed with Brian to discover the effect that binge watching TV has on our lives and on our psyches. Drawing on Brian’s performance history, which often asks audiences to re-examine their relationship with popular technology, this work looks at what it means to give audiences ‘what they want’ and creates the space for shared vulnerability, discussion and shared silence. 

Please note that you have to forgive me, you have to forgive me, you have to forgive me is a 55 minute one-to-one performance and therefore there is a limited capacity to reserve tickets to experience the work in this way. Delegates are also able to watch the show as an on-going installation piece, witnessing the one-to-one performance at any point during the performance hours (14:30 – 19:55 on 25 and 26 August, and 14:30 – 19:10 on 27 August) which does not require a ticket.


In the press

"The transaction between the performer and audience is based on a commitment that you make to each other [...] Lobel understands the duty of care and the ethical considerations that such intimate one-on-one work raises" The Guardian

"Though it only lasted an hour, my relationship with Brian is one that will endure in my memory. We met in a theatre bar, had some chats and giggles, and finished it with a really genuine hug, ending things on mutual terms..." Exeunt Magazine

Production details

  • Writer

    Brian Lobel
  • Number of people on stage

  • Number of people in touring company

    1-2 (2 if installation is presented)
  • Freight

    No freight necessary
  • Touring Availability

    September 2015-September 2017
  • Scale of venue

    Small-scale (capacity up to 400),
    Middle-scale (capacity 400-850),
    Unconventional Space
  • Text-based

    Medium (some text with a strong visual/physical element)
  • Also contains:


In Edinburgh

  • Venue

    Forest Fringe – Out of the Blue Drill Hall, Leith
  • Production dates

    25-27 AUGUST
  • Production times

    1400-2000 25-26 AUGUST, 1400-1900 27 AUGUST
  • Duration

    55 MINS for one-on-one, or installation
  • Audience capacity

    For installation - up to 50 at a time. For one-on-one: 7-8 per day



Brian is a seasoned workshop leader, Senior Lecturer at University of Chichester, and a Wellcome Trust Public Engagement Fellow. He has created 2–5 hour workshops on interactivity and performance, the body in performance and one-to-one performance. These workshops have been led in different contexts (universities, artists, medical schools, community organisations), and for audiences/artists of all ages/stages, throughout the world. He gives playful and informative artist talks about his work and is good fun to have around.

Additional productions

BALL & Other Funny Stories About Cancer, Hold My Hand and We’re Halfway There, Carpe Minuta Prima, Fun with Cancer Patients, Ruach, Purge